And, I know I’m not alone

I’m calling BS on Mother’s day. I know I’m not alone. Will someone please yell, “Amen!”?

I see all the feeds of everyone celebrating the warm fuzzy feelings of love and appreciation and I haven’t publicly wished anyone Happy Mother’s Day because, for some of us, it feels like a sham.

Some of us have lost our moms and want to bury our heads in the sand until tomorrow. Others don’t want anything to do with celebration because our mothers who should have nurtured us abandoned us for their own sake.

For some, today is just too painful.

I went to church this morning and heard a beautiful message about how an individual gets through tough circumstances and perseveres through the difficulty, without medication.

Okay.

Got that.

And, what if it takes a little medication to get through today so we can persevere tomorrow?

Fully admitting that today my medication is one glass of red wine and a tiny bit of raw brownie batter before I put it in the oven. It’s not entirely healthy or unhealthy. After all, the Mediterranean diet allows for a glass of red wine each day. And, red wine has other health benefits too.Are You Drinking Red Wine for Health Benefits? No? Maybe it’s Time to Start – Wetalkhealthy
You’re not alone. If you are a pleasure drinker, you may be receiving healthy benefits too. Moderate consumption can be…wetalkhealthy.com

Highlight/Lowlight Reel

I saw a friend recently say that a highlight real with no pain should be questioned. I agree. Life isn’t all flowers and lovely scents. Sometimes it’s the lowlight reel that should be celebrated because it is real.

This morning I woke up to the sweetest cuddles from my youngest. Her small hands were so gentle as they caressed my face and my back with hugs and kisses. She whispered “Happy Mother’s Day” into my ear. My heart was happy.

Moments later as the girls were in the bathroom the oldest whispered horrible jeers into the youngest’s ear and all hell broke loose. There were battles and fists and yelling. I hate these moments. As parents, we all know they exist and few have the courage to share them. Today I’m sharing the lowlight reel.

One was mad because the other wanted to use her barrette and she has a beautiful, advanced vocabulary that is sometimes used for evil. She whispered horrible, evil taunts into the youngest’s ear. The oldest can knock you down without landing a physical punch. The youngest has a fine vocabulary of her own and it’s not as advanced, so her digs become physical with visible claw marks and fresh red spots.

The situation mandated a parent step in to remove them into separate rooms. No need to go to the hospital, especially today. They were making themselves beautiful on my account and Dad and I are calling BS on the whole day, the events, and the altercation. Completely embarrassed that everyone around or outside could hear our little darlings literally tearing each other apart to make themselves beautiful.

A New Perspective

We thought after church we could all have a brighter, healthier disposition, and move on to a happier place so we all went out for lunch, my Mother’s Day gift. I choose a local little joint that is known for good seafood. Interesting, because it is also the theme of my Mother’s Day card.

“Sea how much I love you”-Nicole’s pic
“I couldn’t fish for a better mom” Nicole’s pic
“You’re turtley awesome” Nicole’s pic
“I whale always love you” Nicole’s pic
“A pinch of love for you” Nicole’s pic
“I dolphinitely love you”-on poipose, just not today Nicole’s pic

We meander through lunch hoping for something better. Today the girls are not much better than terrorists. I love them and maybe I can be a better parent tomorrow when there isn’t so much emotional attachment to a BS Hallmark card holiday we should be celebrating every chance the opportunity arises.

Background

At lunch my husband whispered in my ear, “I remember tasting the carpet, on my face, praying for children on your behalf”.

That’s deep. Because if you know our history, you know that we spent more than a decade hoping, wishing, praying for these kids. God finally awarded them to us. We are the best people in the world to shine these trophies and make them capable to cope in this world.

Good God, we didn’t just lose three, we lost four. And, if you are willing to sit in judgment of our decisions then I invite you into the hell of waiting from one week to the next waiting, wishing, hoping the heartbeat that we lost would beat again. I’m an Ungrateful Snob
Who doesn’t want to write about gratitude this yearmedium.com

Most days I feel like I’m a pretty good parent. I feel like I have a lot to offer. And, today I feel like I want to be a parent of yesteryear who can deliver what every child who acts in this fashion deserves and every parent of today knows will land them in jail. Today I feel like a failure. Please check back tomorrow, maybe then we can focus on the highlight reel.

I always love my kids, even if I don’t always like them. Tomorrow will be a better day. Please forgive me and anyone who feels they need to medicate a tiny bit to get through today.

On a happier note:The Love Letter Everyone Longs to Get, but Few Have the Joy of Receiving
My pulse raises, my knees grow weak, I am giddy in your presence. I cannot live without seeing you, touching you…psiloveyou.xyz

And, when the emotions focus we will highlight health tips again. Don’t miss them at http://wetalkhealthy.com/.